This is something I have struggled with for some years. I peaked at 412 lbs and 6’2″. Recently I found a solution and I’m actually losing weight. This is just my own system, it is not medical advice.
If you divide your food groups into 5 parts, you get:
1. grains and tubers – carbohydrate
2. meat and beans – protein
3. dairy – more protein
4. fruits and vegetables – vitamins and minerals and fiber
5. nuts and oils – essential fatty acids
Grains and tubers are very very important. But refined they are terrible. So unrefined carbs come with lots of fiber. Fiber is good for your gut bacteria. It helps you poop, fills your stomach so you eat less, and can be good for people with heart disease. The best way to eat wheat is as bread or hot cereal. You can get a simple hand cranked mill, or a slightly more expensive electric mill. Then buy the wheat in bulk. To get a good price, you generally have to buy 20-50 lbs at a time. You can store it in lidded buckets to keep it safe from mice. I recommend 2 average sized slices of toast made from your freshly milled flour every day. Breakfast is a good meal to have a slice of toast with, as the fiber will fill your stomach.
Meat and beans are also pretty important. Beans are the preferred protein at at least 1 meal per day. They have a lot of zinc which is good for the immune system and reproductive organs. I recommend cooking a big batch on the weekend and freezing individual portions for the week ahead. I personally favor black beans, but different beans have different properties and it is good to go through a weekly rotation of different kinds prepared in different ways. You can smash canned drained garbanzos and use it as a substitute for canned tuna in a tuna salad recipe. Meat is something I eat about every day, but only in small portions. Some meat (especially beef and pork) can have adrenaline in it and make your anxiety worse. I get my meat mostly from small family farms to avoid this problem. I only eat fish I catch, and I only go fishing in clean waters.
Dairy is a touchy subject, and I know it well. I’m lactose intolerant. I eat cheese and use milk in cooking and in my coffee. Cheese is mostly protein. It is probably the richest source of protein. The process of making cheese is basically to extract the fats and proteins from milk, press out the water and add salt, then age it. As much as I love cheese, I use it sparingly, mostly with my morning eggs and toast.
Fruits and vegetables make up more than 60% of my diet. I have anxiety induced ulcers so I have to avoid spicy and sour ones, but other than that, that’s what I eat. I have a minimum of 2 servings of vegetables at every meal. I eat fruit at least once a day. If you’re hungry between meals, snack on raw vegetables.
Nuts and vegetable oils are important for cooking, but don’t use too much. You have to have fats to repair damaged tissues, but you have to be careful to use very little. In fact, steamed food is better, but who would stick with a diet if they couldn’t have fried chicken at least once in a while?
My closing thought is that while diet plays a huge role, you also need to exercise. I do laps around my land wearing my heavy work boots, go hiking in the mountains, and I enjoy cutting firewood. If you live in the city, consider joining a gym.